You may be a reference librarian if...

...if you've ever helped someone make a reservation for someone to use one of the internet computers.

And they've then complained that they can't wait the 4 minutes until the computer will be available.  They assure you that all they want to do is check their email really quickly, they only need the computer for a couple of minutes, etc., etc.

Then you have to explain that all of the other computers are in use or assigned other reservations, and, really, if they wait 2 more minutes, they can have the computer.

Grudgingly, the person agrees to wait.  So, a mere 120 seconds later, the person is able to sign in to the computer.

And then, 20 minutes later, you realize that the same person is playing Farmville on Facebook.

You may be a reference librarian if...

...if you have a healthy fear of people who enter your library pulling suitcases or carrying multiple bags.

Especially if one or more of those bags is a garbage bag.

And, today, I have developed a special fear of those who enter carrying multiple bags, and one has "PATIENT BELONGINGS" written all over the sides.

You may be a reference librarian if...

...if, on your drive in to work on a Saturday morning, you stop at a red light and watch a man pushing a twin baby carriage across the street...but instead of babies, a case of beer is in each slot.

And you think to yourself, "I bet $10 that I'll be seeing this man at the library later today."

And you are now wondering how to pay yourself $10 for the bet when he walks in the door.

At least the carriage is outside.

You may be a reference librarian if...

...if you've ever had someone approach the Reference Desk with a big teeth-gnashing scowl on their face.

And then you realize that you're supposed to recognize that the person is showing off their new teeth.

And that the person is actually smiling.

You may be a reference librarian if...

...if you've ever had anyone ask you to print out Craigslist for them.

Not just an ad or two, but the whole thing. Every single listing.

"I don't have time to look at each apartment ad right now. Can't you just print it out and I'll look at it later?"

Just when you think you've seen everything...

...someone walks through your library carrying a hula-hoop.

Pro tips for free:

Never lend your scissors out on the Friday afternoon before Valentine's Day.

We keep two pairs, and loan them to patrons in the central reading area as needed. However, one pair was out before I got to Ref (and I didn't know that). Then I loaned the other pair to another patron.

As I started doing my usual tasks, I discovered I needed one of the pairs. So I looked around the library for either pair to see if they were idle.

Both pairs are actively engaged in cutting out red hearts from construction paper.

Awwww....