You may be a reference librarian if...

...if you burst you favorite conspiracy theorist's latest corruption theory by proving that one of your Senators received less than $10,000 in campaign contributions from a weapons manufacturer. Which is a bummer, cause she really wanted to prove the Senator was in the manufacturer's pocket.

...if you can point to that *exact* moment when the genealogy "researcher" got on your nerves, insisting that materials were missing because they had the call number and location for something that wasn't on the shelf--and the researcher started getting pissy about it. And then you find out they got the call number from the card catalog that hasn't been updated since the 1980s. And the location they kept citing wasn't even the same as on the card. And that there's nothing by that title in the OPAC. And then they just keep telling you they want all of the vital records for the town. And they don't like the answer that the county kept the records, not the town. And you recommend that they narrow down their search to one person or one type of record. And they keep repeating that they want ALL of the town's vital records, which they know used to be in the Reference collection when they were a kid growing up here, decades ago.............