You may be a reference librarian if...

...if you've ever had a woman with two small children approach you at the desk and say:

Is there somewhere we could go to have sex?

............

Me, after a pause to check I was still in reality: Excuse me?

Her: Is there somewhere we could go to have snacks? (waves bag in the air)

Me, trying to not display my relief at having to fend off the original question: I'm sorry, we don't have food in the library.

Her: But we brought our own. (waves bag in air again)

Me: Oh, I meant that we don't allow eating in the library.

Well, found out later that we do allow snacks in the kids' section, but that's it.