You may be a reference librarian if...

...if you've ever had to tell a mother that her two little kids (that she is more than 75' away from, and not paying the slightest bit attention to) have been leaning over the rails and spitting on the patrons below the balcony.

What was so odd was that the kids were TINY. 3 years old, tops.

You may be a reference librarian if...

...if you've just been presented with an oral argument that conclusively proves that the library patron before you is, in fact, a direct descendant of Thor.

You know, Thor, the Norse god?

Because we all know that there are vital records going back that far, right?

You may be a reference librarian if...

...if you've ever been asked to go patrol the bathroom because someone has complained about somebody else bathing.

And then you've ended up receiving a 15-minute lecture about "leave in conditioner."

You may be a reference librarian if...

...if you have ever been asked to look up addresses over the phone. I get at least two of these calls each shift.

My favorite so far is the gentleman who called and asked for Hilary Clinton's address (the one in NY, not DC) AND Monica Lewinsky's address in the same phone call. One's mind boggles at what he wanted to write to the two of them...