Dear patron:

Sir, please do not help yourself to the books in the cabinet behind the Ref desk. Especially when I'm sitting in front of the cabinet, waiting to help patrons.

How would you like it if I came into your office and helped myself to your papers?

I realize that 99% of the library is self-serve...but there are a few things we keep under closer control for whatever reason. Certain titles are stolen as soon as they hit the shelves, some materials are used daily, some cost the library thousands of dollars annually to keep up to date. The material you grabbed falls into the last category, and we update it weekly.

It's sort of sad that all would have taken for you to not make me into Cranky the Librarian this morning would have been if you'd just said, "Do you mind if I get that book?"

Heck, even a "Hello" to acknowledge the human before you would have been nice.

Thanks,

Cranky the Librarian

You may be a reference librarian if...

...if you've ever had a library patron BELLOW for more paper in the communal printer.

And, upon refilling the printer, the first thing out of the bellower's mouth is, "Hey, that's not what I printed!"

Yah, cause nobody else in the library could possibly have wanted to use the printer around the same time, too...

It would be laughable if it wasn't absolutely dependable. Every. Single. Time.