Dear patron:

Dear young man with sunburn and scabs and who smells vaguely of pasta,

Please have the courtesy of taking off your headphones if you ask me a question. I will answer you, but if you can't hear me, well, which one of us is at fault?

Also, please don't scratch your nuts at me. Just, well, ick.

Thanks,

Reference Librarian

You may be a reference librarian if...

...if you've ever pulled into the library's parking lot to see a yellow blanket up in a tree.

...if you've ever had to call for elevator maintenance first thing on a Saturday morning. And then you had to explain to the technician that, yes, in fact, you do need service on a lovely Saturday morning. No, it can't wait until Monday when the 'regular guy' would be available.

...if you've ever had to tell a child to not climb the library building. And then have a suddenly alert parent yell at you for yelling at the child. Really? Where were you 90 seconds ago when your kid was playing Spiderman 15' above the sidewalk, trying to break into the stained glass window?

...and if all of this has happened in your first hour.

You may be a reference librarian if...

...if you've ever been handed an article about mosquitos and been told it's very important for pregnant women because it mentions folic acid. And the article's in Italian. And you neither speak Italian, nor are you a pregnant woman.

...if you've ever had to explain to someone that their internet computer use is blocked because they were barred from the library for drinking alcohol on the premises earlier in the year....and you received a diatribe about banks and the need for everyone to have an offshore account. And did I know where one could store bags for a couple of days while they left the country to open an account?

Yet another first

A man just walked up to the Reference Desk and handed me 8 pennies. Not to pay for anything, just donating. "When I'm on this side of town and have a handful of pennies, I like to donate to the library."

Piano keys

Recently sent out a staff-wide email asking if anyone had seen the key to the lock on the piano.

Didn't receive a single reply, until this morning when a colleague contacted me to ask if I'd heard anything.

"Not a peep," I replied.

The response was, "So, no notes yet?"

I'm giving that one +5 for brilliance. The whole exchange was a set up for a punchline.

B.Y.O.C.

Well, that was a new one. A gentleman just came into the library carrying a computer. Not a laptop, but a full-on desktop, external keyboard and mouse trailing along, too.

I thought for a moment he was going to ask how to connect it to the wi-fi, or if there was a plug he could use, but it turns out he wanted to donate it.