Dear publisher:

Thank you so much for issuing your ginormous mega-hit book in an audiobook form. Creating a 41 disc set might be a daunting task for many a publishers, but you charged ahead and did it anyway.

Just...next time? Could you maybe follow the natural splits in the texts in designing the discs?

"Book 1" is starts on Disc 1.

Good. However.

"Book 1" ends on Disc 14, Track 6.

Um?

"Book 2" begins on Disc 14, Track 7.

WTF?

"Book 2" ends on Disc 26, Track 3.

SRSLY?

"Book 3" begins on Disc 26, Track 4.

Brilliant.

"Book 3" ends at the end of Disc 41.

Ugh.

See, here's the problem:

41 discs = multiple packages. There's no container big enough to hold all 41 in the same box. Hell, my dear publisher, you didn't even SELL it in one container.

Multiple packages = multiple parts to check out. So, Person A checks out Box 1, and has "Book 1" + first 8 tracks of "Book 2".

But Person B, not paying attention & not realizing that the title is split into boxes, checks out Box 2. They get "Book 2" minus the first 8 tracks, but plus the first 3 tracks of "Book 3".

Really? You couldn't just add another disc or two and split the entire book onto three sets following the text???

"Book 1" on discs 1-14

"Book 2" on discs 15-27

"Book 3" on discs 28-42.

Was that so difficult there?

Then again, I'm not a big name publisher in some shiny skyscraper in New York. I'm just the reference librarian who has to make sense of this bizarre system and explain it to confused customers. Day...after day...after day.

Good thing I'm not bitter!

Dear patron:

I understand that with the changing weather of the season, we are all prone to catch one of the many bugs circulating. Flu, cold, strep, etc., they're all having a fine time jumping from person to person.

And I appreciate that you may be feeling under the weather, that you've been struggling all day to keep your head up and keep moving when all you want to do is sleep until you're not sick any more.

However.

It is very difficult to conduct a reference interview with you to find that bit of information that will answer your questions when you have a tissue hanging from your nose.

You may wish to revisit the decision to roll two points of a kleenex into pellets and shoving a pellet up each nostril.

Thanks,

Cooties the Librarian

You may be a reference librarian if...

...if you've ever helped someone find a phone number for a major corporation. Specifically, the number to be used for lodging complaints and/or trying to get coupons for free.

And you're a really good reference librarian if you've managed to not react when the information seeker writes down the phone number with the note "Pubic Relations."

Also..

I'm pretty sure that's the first time we've accepted Swiss coinage as payment for printing.

Mostly I accepted it cause it's pretty. Still trying to figure out what coin the person *thought* they were giving me so I can buy the coin from the printer till.

Just to keep a little perspective...

Dear Patron:

Just because you complained about another patron doesn't mean that the other patron hasn't already complained about you.

Thanks,

Your Librarian