You may be a reference librarian if...

...if you've ever had a patron open their wallet to give you their library card and a baggie of pot has fallen out.

...if you've gotten to the point of recognizing who is in the reading area behind you just by the smell.

...if you've ever been consulted by one of your colleagues about what to do when someone finds a syringe in the stacks. (Answer: Get in touch with the local fire department so they can put it in their sharps box in the ambulance the next time they're in the area.)

...if the above have ever happened to you, and you've ever thought, "I went to grad school for this???"